<listing id="zvz3l"><nobr id="zvz3l"><meter id="zvz3l"></meter></nobr></listing>

      <noframes id="zvz3l"><address id="zvz3l"><th id="zvz3l"></th></address>

            <form id="zvz3l"></form>
            <address id="zvz3l"></address>
            立即打開
            新冠疫情的另一面:讓親人不再疏遠

            新冠疫情的另一面:讓親人不再疏遠

            Tanzina Vega 2021年10月17日
            疫情讓不少美國人重新接觸已經疏遠的家人。

            這是一則疫情改變生活的故事。

            嘗試數年生育未果后,1998年,道格·哈迪和妻子羅瑟琳·羅姆伯格從一家俄羅斯孤兒院領養了三個孩子。采取類似做法的不只這一對夫婦。在那之前十年,蘇聯解體,隨之而來的經濟危機迫使很多俄羅斯人將子女送進養育院。這些孩子的苦難遭遇打動了眾多美國家庭,其中不少人選擇領養嬰幼兒。不過,對于已經四十出頭的道格和羅瑟琳來說,收養年齡稍大的孩子(當時三個孩子分別為8歲、6歲和3歲)則是日后實現天倫之樂的機會。然而,現實遠不如想象中美好?!敖酉聛淼?0年,簡直一團糟,”道格告訴《財富》的記者。

            “我們覺得自己被遺棄了,就這么任由陌生人處置。我當時又沮喪又憤怒。對于父母為我們做出的選擇,我非常不滿,”現年31歲的長女艾米莉·哈迪說。

            多年來,哈迪一家人的關系總是多少有些疏離??的螤柎髮W的研究人員發現,18歲以上的美國人中,約有27%與其某個家庭成員斷絕了聯系。專家們指出,親屬關系疏離的現象往往與家庭傷害、虐待、不和睦等經歷直接相關。

            “痛苦的是,我其實希望與家人在一起。我們這些年來一直在服藥、接受治療,”艾米莉說。據道格說,兩個兒子也有同樣的問題,他們常常和朋友住在一起,靠打零工生活,只偶爾與養父母聯系。

            于是,新冠疫情爆發后,道格決定嘗試用一種新方法維系這個幾乎支離破碎的家庭:Zoom視頻電話?!拔覀兺蝗挥辛艘环N安全的借口,找到了一種安全的溝通方式?!笔褂肸oom視頻電話的緣由,部分是因為2020年夏天道格的一個兒子從新罕布什爾監獄獲釋。不過,開頭的幾通電話一如既往地緊張壓抑?!鞍殃惸昱f事重新拿出來討論,真的不容易。我們試過,太難了,”艾米莉回憶起最初的通話情景。

            在2020年12月一次關于家庭關系疏離的訪談中,康奈爾大學人類發展學教授、《斷層線:破碎家庭及修復》一書的作者卡爾·皮萊默表示,用疏遠關系的方式來消除家庭沖突,一開始固然讓人覺得如釋重負,但之后有不少人會為了自己的緣故去嘗試和解。

            “他們感到那是壓在自己肩頭的一副重擔,他們想避免可預見的遺憾?!逼とR默的研究著重于家庭關系和解,他認為,即便是那些自稱對疏離狀態滿意的人,也有可能“渴望修復關系”。

            皮萊默的研究最終影響了哈迪一家。讀了那本書后,羅瑟琳建議家人試著接受分歧。那段時間,新冠疫苗尚未問世,哈迪夫婦的幾個朋友相繼染病離世。死亡促使道格重新思考與孩子的相處之道?!拔覀儗^去發生的事有分歧,但如果你們還希望維系這個家,我們可以談談未來,”他對家人說。

            對姐弟三人而言,未來變得越來越光明。每個人都有好消息,這為建立融洽的家庭關系提供了必要的潤滑劑。一個兒子結婚了,有個孩子,這個家庭頭一次有了孫輩!另一個兒子當上了重型設備機械師。已經成為注冊護士的艾米莉分享了自己工作和學業上的成功。

            如今,一家人的接觸已經漸漸從Zoom視頻轉為了線下的真正團聚,這是他們過去無法想象的?!耙苍S是因為我已經65了,也許是因為看見了這么多人死去,也許是因為對這個國家過去四年發生的事情感同身受。不管怎么說,我們現在開始很認真地思考該如何生活,試著把更多的時間花在對世界、對自己有益的事情上,”道格說。

            在艾米莉看來,家人重聚的歡樂體現在生活的點點滴滴里,比如“一起開懷大笑,飯后一起收拾餐具,一起慶祝生日。不再是冷冰冰的一個電話,而是一起散步、拆禮物。3月份,家里添了小侄子,每個人都爭著抱。家庭環境變了,這是最重要的?!?/p>

            促使一家人重聚的另一個原因或許是家里第二個孫輩的到來。艾米莉12月就要生寶寶了,這讓她看待世界的態度更寬容了些:“我開始意識到,世界很大,或許不只是我們有難題,或許,我們該試著朝前看?!保ㄘ敻恢形木W)

            譯者:胡萌琦

            這是一則疫情改變生活的故事。

            嘗試數年生育未果后,1998年,道格·哈迪和妻子羅瑟琳·羅姆伯格從一家俄羅斯孤兒院領養了三個孩子。采取類似做法的不只這一對夫婦。在那之前十年,蘇聯解體,隨之而來的經濟危機迫使很多俄羅斯人將子女送進養育院。這些孩子的苦難遭遇打動了眾多美國家庭,其中不少人選擇領養嬰幼兒。不過,對于已經四十出頭的道格和羅瑟琳來說,收養年齡稍大的孩子(當時三個孩子分別為8歲、6歲和3歲)則是日后實現天倫之樂的機會。然而,現實遠不如想象中美好?!敖酉聛淼?0年,簡直一團糟,”道格告訴《財富》的記者。

            “我們覺得自己被遺棄了,就這么任由陌生人處置。我當時又沮喪又憤怒。對于父母為我們做出的選擇,我非常不滿,”現年31歲的長女艾米莉·哈迪說。

            多年來,哈迪一家人的關系總是多少有些疏離??的螤柎髮W的研究人員發現,18歲以上的美國人中,約有27%與其某個家庭成員斷絕了聯系。專家們指出,親屬關系疏離的現象往往與家庭傷害、虐待、不和睦等經歷直接相關。

            “痛苦的是,我其實希望與家人在一起。我們這些年來一直在服藥、接受治療,”艾米莉說。據道格說,兩個兒子也有同樣的問題,他們常常和朋友住在一起,靠打零工生活,只偶爾與養父母聯系。

            于是,新冠疫情爆發后,道格決定嘗試用一種新方法維系這個幾乎支離破碎的家庭:Zoom視頻電話?!拔覀兺蝗挥辛艘环N安全的借口,找到了一種安全的溝通方式?!笔褂肸oom視頻電話的緣由,部分是因為2020年夏天道格的一個兒子從新罕布什爾監獄獲釋。不過,開頭的幾通電話一如既往地緊張壓抑?!鞍殃惸昱f事重新拿出來討論,真的不容易。我們試過,太難了,”艾米莉回憶起最初的通話情景。

            在2020年12月一次關于家庭關系疏離的訪談中,康奈爾大學人類發展學教授、《斷層線:破碎家庭及修復》一書的作者卡爾·皮萊默表示,用疏遠關系的方式來消除家庭沖突,一開始固然讓人覺得如釋重負,但之后有不少人會為了自己的緣故去嘗試和解。

            “他們感到那是壓在自己肩頭的一副重擔,他們想避免可預見的遺憾?!逼とR默的研究著重于家庭關系和解,他認為,即便是那些自稱對疏離狀態滿意的人,也有可能“渴望修復關系”。

            皮萊默的研究最終影響了哈迪一家。讀了那本書后,羅瑟琳建議家人試著接受分歧。那段時間,新冠疫苗尚未問世,哈迪夫婦的幾個朋友相繼染病離世。死亡促使道格重新思考與孩子的相處之道?!拔覀儗^去發生的事有分歧,但如果你們還希望維系這個家,我們可以談談未來,”他對家人說。

            對姐弟三人而言,未來變得越來越光明。每個人都有好消息,這為建立融洽的家庭關系提供了必要的潤滑劑。一個兒子結婚了,有個孩子,這個家庭頭一次有了孫輩!另一個兒子當上了重型設備機械師。已經成為注冊護士的艾米莉分享了自己工作和學業上的成功。

            如今,一家人的接觸已經漸漸從Zoom視頻轉為了線下的真正團聚,這是他們過去無法想象的?!耙苍S是因為我已經65了,也許是因為看見了這么多人死去,也許是因為對這個國家過去四年發生的事情感同身受。不管怎么說,我們現在開始很認真地思考該如何生活,試著把更多的時間花在對世界、對自己有益的事情上,”道格說。

            在艾米莉看來,家人重聚的歡樂體現在生活的點點滴滴里,比如“一起開懷大笑,飯后一起收拾餐具,一起慶祝生日。不再是冷冰冰的一個電話,而是一起散步、拆禮物。3月份,家里添了小侄子,每個人都爭著抱。家庭環境變了,這是最重要的?!?/p>

            促使一家人重聚的另一個原因或許是家里第二個孫輩的到來。艾米莉12月就要生寶寶了,這讓她看待世界的態度更寬容了些:“我開始意識到,世界很大,或許不只是我們有難題,或許,我們該試著朝前看?!保ㄘ敻恢形木W)

            譯者:胡萌琦

            This story is part of a series on pandemic-driven shifts.

            In 1998, after years of struggling to have a child on their own, Doug Hardy and his wife, Roselyn Romberg, adopted three siblings from a Russian orphanage. The couple were not alone in their quest. The collapse of the Soviet Union earlier in the decade and the subsequent economic crisis in the region had forced many Russians to put their children up for adoption. Reports of children suffering in Russian orphanages struck a chord in the heart of many American families, some who preferred to adopt infants. But for Doug and Roselyn, then in their early forties, adopting older children (ages 8, 6, and 3) was an opportunity to finally expand their family later in life. The reality, however, ended up being much less idyllic. “Twenty years of chaos followed,” Doug told Fortune.

            “We all felt like we got sent away to be dealt with by somebody else,” said Emilie Hardy, 31, the eldest child. “I was frustrated. I was angry. I had a lot of resentment and a lot of anger toward the choices they had made for us as parents.”

            The Hardy family spent many years in varying degrees of estrangement. Researchers at Cornell University have found that 27% of Americans 18 and older have cut off contact with a family member. Experts say estrangement is a phenomenon that often goes hand in hand with accusations and experiences of abuse, mistreatment, or incompatibility.

            “Part of the bitterness was that I wanted to be with my family,” said Emilie. “We had always been in therapy and for years took medications.” According to Doug, his two sons had equally difficult experiences, often living with friends, holding odd jobs, and keeping in touch with their adoptive parents only sporadically.

            So when the COVID-19 pandemic hit, Doug decided to try a new approach to connecting with his fractured family: Zoom meetings. “We suddenly had a safe way to communicate and a safe excuse to do it,” he said. Part of what prompted the initial round of Zoom video calls was the release of one of Doug’s sons from a New Hampshire jail in the summer of 2020. The initial sessions, however, were fraught with tensions from the past. “It's really hard to rehash the past and talk about it,” Emilie said of the early Zoom calls. “We’ve tried, and it's been difficult.”

            In a December 2020 interview about family estrangement, Karl Pillemer, a professor of human development at Cornell University and author of Fault Lines: Fractured Families and How to Mend Them, said that while there is an initial relief that comes with eliminating family conflict through estrangement, many people who attempt reconciliation do it for themselves, not for the other family member.

            “They felt like it was a weight off their shoulders; they were avoiding anticipated regret,” he said. Pillemer, whose research has focused on family reconciliation, said that even those who say they are satisfied with the estrangement may still feel a “longing for a restoration of the relationship.”

            Pillemer’s work eventually made its way to the Hardy family. After reading his book, Roselyn suggested the family try agreeing to disagree. The Zoom calls had taken place in the pre-vaccine days of the pandemic, after a few of the couple’s friends had succumbed to the virus. Those deaths influenced Doug’s thinking about how to engage with his children. “We can't agree about the past, but we can focus on the future if you want to be a family,” he told them.

            That future was starting to look increasingly bright for the siblings. Each of them had their own good news to share, creating the necessary balm for establishing rapport. One son got married and had a baby—the family’s first grandchild. The other son works as a heavy equipment mechanic. And Emilie, now a registered nurse, shared her own success stories about work and school.

            The Zoom meetings have now migrated offline to in-person gatherings, something the Hardy family could barely imagine happening in the past. “Maybe it's being 65, maybe it's seeing so many people die, maybe it's seeing our own distress at what's happened in this country in the past four years,” said Doug, “but we are taking a very serious look at how we are spending our lives. We’re trying to spend more time on things that are good for the world and good for us.”

            For Emilie, the joy of reconnection has been found in simple things like “laughing, cleaning up dishes after dinner, celebrating birthdays together,” she said. “It's no longer just a phone call—it's going for a walk, opening gifts. We just had a baby nephew in March, and everyone was holding the baby. The physical space was different, and that's what's important.”

            And perhaps another reason for the family to come together again is the arrival of the family’s second grandchild. Emilie’s baby is due in December, and that has made her regard the world in more forgiving terms: “It makes you think about how the world is a big place and maybe our problems are not the only problems, that maybe it's time to move on.”

            最新:
            • 熱讀文章
            • 熱門視頻
            活動
            掃碼打開財富Plus App
            亚洲成av人不卡无码影片
            <listing id="zvz3l"><nobr id="zvz3l"><meter id="zvz3l"></meter></nobr></listing>

                <noframes id="zvz3l"><address id="zvz3l"><th id="zvz3l"></th></address>

                      <form id="zvz3l"></form>
                      <address id="zvz3l"></address>